hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
