I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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