ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize