so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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