I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
