I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
