I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize