You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
