69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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