I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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