I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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