just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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