Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
