sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So vagazzling was a success
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
