I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
