Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
