I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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