your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize