wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
