My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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