It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
