I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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