The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
