Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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