Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
