No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
