Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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