True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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