I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
