he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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