So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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