It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize