the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize