Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
