you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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