no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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