Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
