i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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