Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
