Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
