What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
