so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Randomize
