The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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