I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize