Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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