So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't put those talents on a resume
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
