Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
