I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He felt like a one man threesome
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
