when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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