I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
