I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
