Hey man sorry I got all grabby
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
