people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
