At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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