Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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