I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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