normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
