Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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