When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
