puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
