I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
how does that bad decision feel?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
