Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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