I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
