Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
