I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
