Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
